Wednesday, May 27, 2009
What gets me thinking about this the most is when I think, "Wow, time really flies!" It really actually bothers me! I do it all the time too. Oh it's Monday? Oh, another birthday? It's our anniversary already? Oops I haven't talked to so-and-so for weeks! I'm very uncomfortable with this lifestyle.
This blog is all about not putting what we crave: time for ourselves, quality time with our families, little things that say "I care" and effort in friendships.
This is something I have to strive for... something more than a few more ticks on my to-do list. This is an introduction to really living, a few years too late!
Friday, May 22, 2009
I believe in affirming marriage... that's why for this Friday I sent my husband an email. My husband loves to get email at work! How easy is it to send a quick email? Easy peasy. Here's what it said:
My goals for our lifetime: http://www.marriagemissions.com/100-ways-you-can-love-your-husband-his-way/
My husband loves to be affirmed as well. I hope this email can brighten his day. Here's that list of 100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband His Way. It might give you ideas of what to do for your first FIYFF!
Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
If you want to participate in Fall Into Your Family Friday, read more and link up here!
It's so important to reach out to our beloved family and friends, neighbors and helpers, even amidst our business. I've noticed that my life is flying by (haven't we all?!). I don't want to have regrets! I'm going to dedicate Fridays to showing love to my family/friends/neighbors/special people and I encourage you to do the same.
It can be our adventure in better living and loving.
Why did I choose the verb to fall into? Good question! It's a phrasal verb that means:
Won't you join me on Fridays as we LOVE others? Think of something special to do for someone and share it! There's no being modest or humble here. It's all about encouraging each other to not take our loved ones for granted. I know you have some nice ideas about how to do this-- I can't wait to hear them!
Here's the code to the button, should you want to put it on your page and link it back here:
Join up! Support your fellow bloggers in this!!
- healthy and organic living
- blessing my family
I want to start to tackle the things I feel so unready for, like blogging, crafts, my health, cooking, and being intentional to the ones I love. By nature I think most humans are typically able to do these things for mere survival, but American life so simple that I, for one, rarely take the time to do these important and healthy things.
This is where I'm going to tackle that. I'll never just be granted more time-- hello God? Yes, I'd like 28-hour days, 4-day weekends, etc.-- so I might as well use what I've got to do the things that make me happy. I hope you will too. :)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Did anyone get a call at the butt-crack of dawn from Citi Cards today? I get these calls about once a month. They suspect that my card has been stolen and has fraudulent charges. They read the charges-- and they are always mine. What really irks me is that they always ask about a Verizon Wireless charge that happens every month on the same day for the same amount!! Grrr.
Anyway, this morning was outrageous! I mean, I appreciate the theft protection (somewhat)... but... well, let me tell you the story.
They call, and read three suspected charges. One from Verizon Wireless, and two for less than $10 at coffee shops. Really?! Oh wait, those are mine-- no evil thieves spending $10 on my card today.
"We will be closing your account for your protection." WAIT WHAT?! I protest rather endlessly. They are not fraud. I am willing to take the risk.
Then the kicker... "Well, actually, your account information has been compromised."
COME AGAIN? So my account information has been stolen from Citi Cards or Mastercard or somewhere (they can't actually tell me). Way to LIE about it and try to hide it.
I continue to refuse to close my account. I don't have another credit card or debit card. I use my Citi card for everything. No thank you.
"You account has already been closed."
Great. So my account was closed even before they asked permission. Good grief, this company is terrible. I'm probably going to switch companies. It's their rewards program that sucks people in. I want to continue to earn rewards. But other cards have rewards programs too, I'm sure.
Boo to Citi Card.
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Monday, February 2, 2009
JUMPING UP AND DOWN EXCITED!! Although I wish the whole family would just get their act together... but that doesn't look like it will be happening... I was happy, no, thrilled, no, ecstatic! I was pleased to see the gay couple portrayed as responsible, kind, and able to parent.
I'm not gay or overly pro-gay, but I thought that was fair and not overly pro-gay either.
Now ideally, Amy and Ben, or Amy and Ricky, would be over 18 and able to take responsibility for the baby. Ideally, Annie and George would not get a divorce but try to actually have a conversation. Finally, ideally, Grace would be a little more angry at Ricky for continuing to sleep with Adriene while they were together. Oh ho hum the what if's!
Thanks, I had to get this out. The Secret Life of the American Teenager is my secret obsession! You can learn more about it and watch episodes from ABC Family here! (or on YouTube)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Black Artists Association (BAA) isn't pleased with the new First Lady. They are angry she didn't wear a Black designer outfit to the Inauguration.
The Huffington Post reports, "The group is publicly chiding the First Lady for not wearing an African-American designer during any of the inaugural festivities. On inauguration day, Obama wore Cuban-American designer Isabel Toledo, and at night she wore a gown by Taiwan-born designer Jason Wu."
The BAA has since reportedly received death threats for their disapproval of Mrs. Obama.
Harsh!! So much for a peaceful celebration.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Poet Elizabeth Alexander read a poem at President Barack Obama's inauguration that really gave me a lot of think about. I felt like her art really captured the business of life yet the song of the day that lives in the background waiting to be embraced. Here is the text of the poem:
“Praise Song for the Day,” written and recited by Elizabeth Alexander
Each day we go about our business,
walking past each other, catching each other’s
eyes or not, about to speak or speaking.
All about us is noise. All about us is
noise and bramble, thorn and din, each
one of our ancestors on our tongues.
Someone is stitching up a hem, darning
a hole in a uniform, patching a tire,
repairing the things in need of repair.
Someone is trying to make music somewhere,
with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum,
with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.
A woman and her son wait for the bus.
A farmer considers the changing sky.
A teacher says, Take out your pencils. Begin.
We encounter each other in words, words
spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed,
words to consider, reconsider.
We cross dirt roads and highways that mark
the will of some one and then others, who said
I need to see what’s on the other side.
I know there’s something better down the road.
We need to find a place where we are safe.
We walk into that which we cannot yet see.
Say it plain: that many have died for this day.
Sing the names of the dead who brought us here,
who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges,
picked the cotton and the lettuce, built
brick by brick the glittering edifices
they would then keep clean and work inside of.
Praise song for struggle, praise song for the day.
Praise song for every hand-lettered sign,
the figuring-it-out at kitchen tables.
Some live by love thy neighbor as thyself,
others by first do no harm or take no more
than you need. What if the mightiest word is love?
Love beyond marital, filial, national,
love that casts a widening pool of light,
love with no need to pre-empt grievance.
In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air,
any thing can be made, any sentence begun.
On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp,
The video can be watched from YouTube here. It's very meditative and calming.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I have been wanting one of these for forever now! It is so so so so so cute. Engineered by a fashion diva/smartie pants, I'm sure. Check it out.
This is the HP Mini 1000 Vivienne Tam Clutch Laptop- a mix of fashion and technology. I absolutely love the idea!The HP Mini Clutch is only 2.45 pounds heavy, 10.1 inches wide, and 1 inch thin! WOW. I can't get over it. You can buy one directly from HP with cute matching scarf and tote bag.
- Giveaways and Sweepstakes
- Politics of Hillary Clinton
- Life Consistency (Human Rights)
- Culture Sham (Christian thoughts)
I want to see if blogging can really pay off. Can a young female be successful in her blogs, ranging from giveaways to politics to beauty to human rights?
I want to see if blogging can really pay off, and I don't just mean monetarily. I love to write and I have many interests. I want to try blogging full-time to fulfill something that I've always wanted to try. I also want to see if it's possible to make money. I'll be open and honest with you about my findings. I know a lot of moms and other female bloggers are working very hard to find out the same thing right now. I hope we can find success in doing what we love!
I'm always looking to connect with women who are on the same path. I know that we need to work together more. Entrecard is one way I meet fabulous women bloggers. I'm always open to ideas, tips, products, and links.
For example, one Mom whose cute and ever-updated blog is called Secret Agent Josephine, threw her daughter a green birthday party. Here were the snacks:
I hope I can be that cute someday!!!
Never empty your purse again-- simply change the outside to match your outfit of the day! The basic black purse becomes much, much more when you add a shell:
Wow, fun! The basic purse costs $34.99 and each shell is $24.99. Looks like a lot of fun to me. I might just buy my first as-seen-on-TV product, oh oh!
It even claims to have good postage discounts you can't get at home.