Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Why Is It So Hard?

Ahhh life flies by too fast! Why is it that it's difficult to love and appreciate our selves and our families? I haven't the faintest idea!

What gets me thinking about this the most is when I think, "Wow, time really flies!" It really actually bothers me! I do it all the time too. Oh it's Monday? Oh, another birthday? It's our anniversary already? Oops I haven't talked to so-and-so for weeks! I'm very uncomfortable with this lifestyle.

This blog is all about not putting what we crave: time for ourselves, quality time with our families, little things that say "I care" and effort in friendships.

This is something I have to strive for... something more than a few more ticks on my to-do list. This is an introduction to really living, a few years too late!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Fall Into Your Family Friday 5/22

This is my first edition of Fall Into Your Family Friday! Scroll down to my previous post or click here to read the goal of FIYFF. Please join in-- it's all about spreading the love!

Fall Into Your Family Fridays! Join us in  an adventure of loving our loved ones!

I believe in affirming marriage... that's why for this Friday I sent my husband an email. My husband loves to get email at work! How easy is it to send a quick email? Easy peasy. Here's what it said:

My goals for our lifetime:

My husband loves to be affirmed as well. I hope this email can brighten his day. Here's that list of 100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband His Way. It might give you ideas of what to do for your first FIYFF!

Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

If you want to participate in Fall Into Your Family Friday, read more and link up here!

Introducing Fall Into Your Family Fridays!

Since this blog is all about improving my life and loving my loved ones more (read more about my mission), I decided to start Fall Into Your Family Fridays!

It's so important to reach out to our beloved family and friends, neighbors and helpers, even amidst our business. I've noticed that my life is flying by (haven't we all?!). I don't want to have regrets! I'm going to dedicate Fridays to showing love to my family/friends/neighbors/special people and I encourage you to do the same.

It can be our adventure in better living and loving.

Why did I choose the verb to fall into? Good question! It's a phrasal verb that means:
To do something unplanned
(see here if you don't believe me!)

Won't you join me on Fridays as we LOVE others? Think of something special to do for someone and share it! There's no being modest or humble here. It's all about encouraging each other to not take our loved ones for granted. I know you have some nice ideas about how to do this-- I can't wait to hear them!

Here's the code to the button, should you want to put it on your page and link it back here:

Join up! Support your fellow bloggers in this!!

Finding Myself

I've been soul searching to find out what I want to do with my life. I can tell you I haven't learned the answer yet. I did, however, figure out that I have some passions that I'd really like to begin to peruse more in blogging. They include but are not limited to:
  • crafts
  • stationary
  • healthy and organic living
  • cooking
  • encouraging
  • blessing my family
You already know that I love giveaways and reviews, so those will be part of this blog too. But big picture:

I want to start to tackle the things I feel so unready for, like blogging, crafts, my health, cooking, and being intentional to the ones I love. By nature I think most humans are typically able to do these things for mere survival, but American life so simple that I, for one, rarely take the time to do these important and healthy things.

This is where I'm going to tackle that. I'll never just be granted more time-- hello God? Yes, I'd like 28-hour days, 4-day weekends, etc.-- so I might as well use what I've got to do the things that make me happy. I hope you will too. :)